When people with agoraphobia fear going to places where it might be hard to flee if have a panic attack, this often leads people to be confined to their home (safe zone). Agoraphobia sufferers often avoid going to crowded stores or traveling. They do not go far from home and often depend on family members or friends for their needs.
If agoraphobia sufferers should venture to places that they fear, they will usually have a safe person (a friend,family member, or spouse) to accompany them so they feel self assured and safe.
Some cases of agoraphobia might not be as severe as others. Some people might be able to function normally but by concealing their fear, and others are confined to their home. The nature of this anxiety disorder keeps many agoraphobia sufferers from being able to seek treatment.
Many people who meet me would be shocked to learn that I suffer from both of these conditions. Chronic depression is pervasive in my life. I'm treated on an ongoing basis by a psychiatrist for both depression and agoraphobia. I have been for over 5 years. With pschotherapy and the right combination of medication, I have become 'functional' again, although I still have my times when I really have to battle to stay ahead of both conditions. Here are some old notes that I wrote about depression that may give you an insight in what I've experienced and learned about it over the years now:
One of the major symptoms of depression, at least for me, is withdrawal. That can manifest itself in many ways. In my case, I didn't recognize the signs until I was so deep in my black hole that I simply couldn't find a way out without professional help. I have since found out that many things can contribute to your likelihood of suffering acute depression.
A family history of depression is one contributing factor. Until a couple of years ago, I had never even given that a thought. After a great deal of counseling, I now know that depression was pervasive in my family. I had parents that I believe suffered with depression on and off over their lifetimes. It manifested itself in different ways, but it was depression. I have other immediate family that have sought treatment for depression.
Loss contributes to depression. We all suffer losses in our lives, but sometimes too many in too short a time can overwhelm you and send you into a spiral that is headed no where but downhill. I lost 6 loved ones in 6 years. I lost a step-mother who had been a part of my life for well over 40 years. Less than two months later, my beloved mother-in-law died of cancer. Two years later, my mother was gone. The next year, my father-in-law died. Five months later, my father died in his sleep. Fifteen months later, joy turned to heartbreak when my grandson died in utero.
Between the passing of my mother and my father-in-law, I lost my job due to my work injury. I lost a great deal of my independence with the injury, and had the first of what was to become four surgeries in less than two years.
Did you also know that it's not uncommon to suffer depression in conjunction with post-surgery? I didn't know that until after the fact. I wish someone had mentioned it to me. It might not have snuck up on me so unexpectedly. When it did hit me, I went down with a big bam.
I thought I did a pretty good job of 'hiding' it. But that didn't last long, because it eventually takes you over and in my case, I guess the best clue was that I couldn't speak without crying. Then, if you realize that you are going to cry if you speak, you quit speaking! Makes sense huh? I guess that's when you can consider yourself 'withdrawn'. Also, if you don't get dressed all day, and that goes on day after day after day, then you need to consider seeing a doctor. The problem with that is, you have to get dressed normally to see the doctor, so that's a tough one.
Decisions. That's another one. I went from being a most decisive person, who's livelihood depended on my ability to make split decisions that were of life and death magnitude on a daily basis, to being a person who couldn't decide if I could even decide to make a decision (did you follow that? It's true). Again, you need to seek out a doctor - but there again, you have to decide to do that and if you can't decide, how are you going to ever get that first appointment?
If you have never been depressed, this will undoubtedly sound very strange. If you've been slightly depressed at times, this may sound a bit exaggerated. If you've ever suffered from, or had a loved one who suffered from, acute depression then you know exactly what I'm talking about. No need to raise your hand. *Written November 2001*
Agoraphobia didn't invade my life until the summer of 2002 when I had what I refer to as a 'major meltdown'. I started experiencing panic attacks just at the thought of leaving my house. I didn't tell anyone at first - I just made up excuses why I couldn't go anywhere (usually I used the vague 'I don't feel well' one). I wasn't really fooling anyone in retrospect but no one in the family confronted me with it for months. Finally my daughters did what I will call an 'intervention' and made an apppointment for me with my gynecologist , whom they knew I felt very comfortable with. She's not only my Dr but she has delivered several of my grandchildren too and I consider her someone I CAN talk to. My daughters left nothing to chance - they arranged an appt for the next day, lined up my dear friend Pam to come and take me and had told my Dr what was going on. After seeing her, she changed some of my medications and strongly urged me to seek out a new psychiatrist (the first one I saw was what I call a 'happy freak' who couldn't accept me being anything less ~ and I believe contributed to my melt down).
It took me several months to find the 'right' Dr but once I did, my path was set to begin to get better. It's been nearly 3 years now and I have accomplished a lot ~ but still have many situations on my 'to do' list that I need to be able to do again in order to feel 'normal'. I still need my 'safe' person with me when I go out ~ that person can be a family member or my friend Pam. As we all know, you can't always have a person available to go with you everywhere ~ that is where my beloved German Sheperd Baron takes over. He has been trained to be my constant companion - and with him with me, I feel 'safe'. He's a service dog and therefore can go anywhere I go and he has allowed me to move about more freely out in the world again. While I'm home alone during the day, he and Nikki make me feel safe. Baron is so attune to my fears that he anticipates stress and always seems to do the right things ~ whether it be at the door right by my side when I have to answer the door or just to putting his head in my lap, laying at my feet or putting himself between me and whatever he might think is threatening to me. Sometimes that's just a stranger walking down my street ~ he sees them through the front window and comes and sits right in front of me ~ and does this low growl thing that let's me know he's 'on it'. :) When he's not working, i.e. my family or friends are over, he's gentle and sweet and so loving with all my grandchildren. When out and about with me, he's alert but friendly with all we meet and well behaved. He's opened the world back up to me.
One of the best ways to overcome both depression and panic disorders is to keep myself busy and active. I have found that doing things for others gives me a sense of worth and so that is where I try to place myself. I also continue with my medications and seeing my psychiatrist on a regular basis.
I hope you have learned something interesting and new about these two conditions from me sharing my story with you. If you suffer from either, then you will see yourself in my words. My message is one of hope. Sometimes you just have to have professional help to find your way out of the darkness. I did and you can too.
Peace and Hugs,
Jean (aka Grammy)
